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英语学习英文短文欣赏:《天堂与地狱》

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       小文章推荐,以增强个人的阅读能力:

       《天堂与地狱》
       一位哲学家,一位数学家和一个白痴乘坐的汽车撞上了一棵大树。转瞬之间,他们三人便发现自己已经站在了天堂的大门前面。圣彼得和魔鬼站在大门两边。
       “先生们,”魔鬼解释道,“眼下,天堂已经人满为患了,所以,圣彼得同意我们采取措施,控制进入天堂的人数。如果你们能告诉我的一个问题,而我却不知道或答不上来,那么,你就有资格计入天堂,否则就跟我进入地狱。”
       于是,哲学家走上前去,“那好,请你对苏格拉底的学说做一个最全面的综述。”只听见魔鬼谈了一下响指,一叠文件便出现在魔鬼的身边。
       哲学家哲学家仔细读了一番,承认魔鬼答对了。
       “那么,请你进地狱吧!”魔鬼又谈了一下响指,哲学家立即消失了。
       接着,数学家提出了问题,“请列出你认为最复杂的数学公式”只听魔鬼弹了一下响指,有一叠文件出现在魔鬼的身边。
       数学家仔细读了一番,他也不得不承认魔鬼答对了。
       “那么,也请你进入地狱吧!”魔鬼又弹了一下响指,数学家也随之消失了。
       白痴走上前,吩咐道,“给我拿把椅子来。”魔鬼搬来了一把椅子。
       “在座位上钻七个眼。”魔鬼按他的吩咐一切照办。
       于是,白痴坐在了椅子上,放了一个响屁。随后,白痴站了起来,问魔鬼,“我的屁是从哪个眼里放出来的?”
       “从右数的第三眼。”魔鬼检查了座位,自信地答道。
       “错了,”白痴说道,“是从我的屁眼里放出来的。”
       于是,白痴进入了天堂。
       《Heaven and hell》
       A philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, crashed into a tree.. In a wink, three of them is that he has stood in front of the gate of heaven. Peter and the devil stood on both sides of the front door.
       "Gentlemen," the devil, "explains now, heaven is overcrowded, so Saint Peter agrees we take measures to control numbers into heaven. If you can tell me a question, and I don t know or can t answer, then you are qualified to count on heaven, otherwise you ll go to hell with me."
       So the philosopher went to him, "well, please make the most comprehensive summary of the doctrine of Socrates"." Only to hear the devil about his fingers, a stack of papers will appear in the devil.
       The philosopher read a lot, that the devil got.
       Well, please go to hell.!" He talked about his fingers, philosopher immediately disappeared.
       Then the mathematician put forward the question, please list do you think most complex mathematical formula "just listen to the devil flicked his fingers, a stack of papers appear in the side of the devil.
       Read a mathematician, he had to admit that the devil got.
       Well, please go to hell.!" The devil flick of his finger, mathematicians had disappeared.
       Idiot walked up, said, "give me a chair." The devil moved to a chair..
       "Seven eyes drilled in the seat.." The devil in his orders to all.
       So the idiot was sitting in a chair and a loud fart.. Then, the idiot stood up and asked the devil, "my fart is from which eyes?"
       "From the right number of third eyes." The devil checked the seat and answered confidently.
       wrong, said the idiot, and it was out of my ass."
       So the idiot entered heaven..

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